Hippie Halloween

Michelle' wouldn't miss an American holiday, even if she lived in China. She always manages to find a way to celebrate even the most ridiculous observances; part of the American tradition.

The Chinese are trying to learn to understand American holidays but this one is a little more puzzling. There was a spook house this year for the first time in Shanghai. One of Michelle's Chinese friends went. Another said it would be too scary.













Michelle's friends have asked many questions about this "holiday" we call Halloween. Like, why do we like to think about ghosts? and why is it funny to have a skeleton hanging in the doorway? or why in the world do we dress up?
Oh, and my favorite, how much time do we get to take off work?

Holidays in China are very serious. The week I arrived here was the 60th Anniversary of Communism so of course, a National Holiday. Most of the businesses closed for the entire week. Except, of course, retail. You can always buy stuff even during a holiday.

Chinese New Year is another holiday - in 2010 it is the second week of February. It's sort of like our Easter on the calendar, so it's never on the same week of any year. All of China takes off work the entire week and shoot fireworks every day, in every complex; Disney style fireworks so they are big, and loud, every day of the week. Many people return to their home villages to celebrate.
William tries to explain that Halloween is really just a children's holiday, so no time off work. It's just something silly we like to do. Chinese friends seem to like this - since they love children's holidays. Chinese are really very childlike. After all, they do love Karaoke.

We made chili and cornbread, and invited all Michelle and William's friends. Some of them came, like autie Shelly, or Glenn and Syria (pictured), I think mostly to see the baby in Tigger costume. Michelle dressed up as a hippie and William as a bottle of Guinness. Our creative juices were running low. The only thing I could think of was to say I dressed as a grannie.

But the chili was good. And baby slept right through the humiliation.

Don't Stare

I hate it when someone stares at me while I'm sleeping. I don't care who it is or why they're doing it - the effect is always the same: it's going to wake me up.

Little Bonita and I have a few things in common. While working tonight I looked down and noticed all the cute little faces she was making in her sleep. I grabbed the camera and switched it to movie mode. I never touched little Bonita until the very of of this clip, just wanted to watch as she slept and remember it. But I think my watching her made her wake up.

I'll warn you now, this is a really boring video. It's just a sleeping baby making cute faces. If that's your thing -- great -- enjoy it. But if it's not, feel free to ignore the Play button and wait for the next blog post.

This clip is very dark, so if you can't see it, I apologize.

Bonita Rose at 12 days old.

Light in her Eyes

Little Bonnie is so responsive, she loves for us to talk to her and she likes to talk back. She watches and looks and coos when she hears us nearby. I know she's learning our voices and she already knows which one belongs to her mother.
The Chinese don't really talk to their babies. Some of Michelle's visitors have commented on how, and even why, she would talk to an infant. They think it is very strange. One woman even told Michelle that there is a "light in her eyes that Chinese babies don't have." We had to wonder if part of that is that there's no interaction, and therefore no social stimulation.

So sad. Everyone misses out in that situation. Talking to baby is so rewarding. Why can't people just use common sense to figure things like this out.

Oh yes, someone just reminded me why: sense is not common.

Even Bonnie Rose agrees with that.

Nana time

Working with little Bonnie during the night is so wonderful. She's so sweet, I wonder if she will miss me when I go home?

Visitors

So many visitors, all of them welcoming Bonita Rose into the world.

When people come to visit it's important to get dressed; both for mother, and for baby. Michelle, like her mother, prefers pajamas over normal clothing. Bonita Rose might be learning the same habit.

That's not so bad, is it?

Because company was coming, we did all get dressed up. William even cleaned the house.

Then the visitors arrived. So many we didn't keep count and for most of them we forgot to take pictures.


One of Michelle's friends who was here, Lukas, did bring his camera, and took this photo of Cathy, who wants to be called older sister ( jia jia).

It's a common Chinese custom to attribute all adult friends a family title.













The very last batch of visitors the day were the aunties.
These are four women who have personal claim on Bonnie Rose, and deserve special recognition. These are the four aunties; Fanny, Penny, Lily and Shelly. They do not wield any magic wands.


This is Fanny, the quiet auntie.















Shelly is the loud, laughing auntie. Bonnie really liked her and we were amazed at how Bonnie Rose smiled continuously to the sound of Shelly's voice. Little Bonnie couldn't take her eyes from Shelly's friendly face.
















We didn't get photographs yet of the other two aunties, but Bonnie Rose will definitely know them each very well, they are an important part of Shanghai Minnis household life.

Making memories

One of the things we parents don't want to do is forget.
There are so many beautiful things to remember, how can you capture them all?













We try.

Sometimes our attempts are not all that pleasant to the one we want to remember things about. That's Ok, though, baby will never remember.

The baby book is a great example. We'll always be glad that we made the effort to put red ink all over our baby's feet; stretched her little leg out so that it presses onto the book just right, leaving that little imprint. We don't want to forget how tiny she is, how wonderful and precious.

We want to take imprints of everything, but hands just don't cooperate. We figure we'll just have to be happy with the two feet, at least we have pictures.














When we're all done, baby needs a nap. Making memories is stressful work.

The Doula

Michelle's Doula, Caitlin, came to visit Bonnie Rose. We are very thankful to have had her helping during delivery. Bonnie has much to thank her for, just like the rest of us. This is the last official visit we'll have from Caitlin for now.

Thank you, Caitlin, for all your support.

Two Essentials

Someone once said that a baby can survive with a box, and her mother - but that would not be swell.













So true.
Kids can survive with those two basics, Michelle did.

Of course, she did have a few other things, including her little brother in her box, for company. And she had me. What more does a baby need?

Baby's day out

Yesterday we took baby for a walk. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But I think she got too hot, in her little carrier. By the time we got home, she was tired. Momma had kept her cozy and safe, but sometimes, we often don't realize how hard even the little things are on infants.


Babies often seem like they're fine when you take them out. As parents, it's easy to not be sensitive to baby's needs. Bonnie slept most of the time, except for nursing, which made us think she was fine. But she whimpered a lot, and the trip made her very tired, not being able to just be in her mommy's bed, naked and relaxed.






By the time we got home, her tummy was upset. It took her most of the day today to recover and sleep. She's better now. Daddy got home and she watched some Star Trek, had a bath and cuddled with Mommy and Daddy.

Life is good.

Which Species?

Michelle says baby was nurtured on Star Trek. I guess it's true, she does seem to have a liking for the sound of Captain Picard's voice.













Tonight it was difficult deciding on an episode. And of course, one episode is never enough.

Ask Michelle.

Bonnie Rose is destined, it seems. The question is, will she be Klingon, Betazoid or human? or a little of each?

Bath Time

Bonnie Rose had her first bath at home on Sunday.













At the Chinese hospital we were told that the baby would not get a bath the day she was born.

That was odd - but we didn't mind. Leaving the antibodies from birth on the baby as long as possible is a natural protectant. Their reasons probably have something to do with ancient custom, but that was fine with us.

Because the Chinese want a new mother to avoid water for a month, we assumed something similar for babies.
Not so.
Babies haven't lost anything during birth, so there's no need to avoid cold (although they do think babies should be dressed and bundled at all times). We were told today that the Chinese traditionally bathe their newborns daily. Again, we seem to be a little off target if we want to follow Chinese tradition.

Bonnie Rose loved her bath. She cooed, and watched and enjoyed the time with mommy and daddy. She even didn't mind the naked-pictures, since I tried to be as discreet as possible.

Bad woman

Michelle is a terrible mother. The Chinese, at least, say so. Not a terrible parent, but a terrible first-time mother. This is the Chinese tradition.

In China women who have babies do not drink water, for one month. They do not eat anything except this brothy soup that everyone makes for them, again, for one month.

They do not get out of bed, and especially do not go out of the house, for an entire month.

Birth mothers remain entirely dressed and covered, for at least one month. They do not shower, and especially do not wash their hair. I am not exaggerating here.

Also, a new birth mother must not drink anything cold. They must keep their feet covered at all times and definitely must not open the window or turn on the air conditioning.

And no ice cream.

The Chinese have an aversion to cold - not just things that feel cold, but things that keep the warmth from your body. A new mother, they feel, has had much drained out of her during labor and delivery and therefore the body must be returned to warmth, or health. This is how they explain their insistence on avoiding cold. They go a little overboard with it. And oddly, even though China is trying to be modern, they can't seem to shake these ancient beliefs.

When we went out earlier in the week, two Chinese women came up to Michelle and looked at the baby, then smacked Michelle on the shoulder and said, "Not supposed to go outside." Michelle ignored them, of course, good Chinese that she is. Many other Chinese people have commented on her not staying home, not covering her feet and not wearing long sleeves.

Oh, if they could only see her at home.

Michelle has another friend who recently had a baby. She grew tired of having the Chinese tell her she was bad for going out, so got into the habit of telling these women that her baby was two months old. Brilliant! That put her well within their traditional guidelines.

Why didn't we think of that?

You can see what a terrible mother Michelle is.

Just look at her.

Oh, if only we all had such terrible mothers.

Fashion Mom

Michelle's friend, Cathy, informed me today that I am a fashion mom. That surprised me, since fashion has never been my thing. But I don't think she was saying I dressed in style.

Darn. I thought there might be hope.

Cathy says that, in China, people in her parents' generation do not use computers, nor do they care to learn. The only people in Shanghai who use computers are the "younger generation," so when Michelle told Cathy that I use Facebook and have a blog, she was shocked. She says it is very unusual to see someone my age using the Internet.

So, what is that supposed to mean?

Using computers is a great thing, I can't imagine life without them, and frankly, that's one reason why I am glad I didn't live 50 years ago. Oh wait....

If using these electronic gadgets makes me a fashion mom, I'll take it. Actually, that is a lot more important to me than dressing in style. I'd rather not be dressed at all anyway.

Ok, I know. TMI.

A Dad's way

Sometimes those big burps get really stuck. When that happens, William comes to the rescue.

William really knows how to calm Bonnie Rose. He has all sorts of funny positions to hold her in that she really likes. This one Michelle calls the monkey.

And since it's almost time to eat again, a tasty thumb comes to the rescue.

Baby diet

Baby likes mealtime. Michelle loves to nurse her, letting her eat as often as she likes - unless she wants to go more than 2 hours. Then Michelle will wake her up.

Sometimes William will come in and tell Michelle that baby needs to eat. That makes Michelle happy, nursing is just so enjoyable. I remember that. Being a new mother is so incredible. And not just the first time.

Michelle and Nana also need to eat, and since I am not really doing my job (concerning cooking) William has taken care of the food fairly often. Today he made the most incredible breakfast for us, even Bonnie Rose seemed interested. Michelle told her she'd have to wait and get her version of it a bit later.

Enough hands

I'm not quite sure if William has entirely recovered from last weekend's events but he is definitely enjoying the results.

He loves holding Bonita Rose. He keeps telling us how cute she is.

William's a great dad. Today he made lunch for us girls, then sat down himself to enjoy his lovely daughter, along with the lunch he made.

Notice he's got all his essentials; food, computer and baby. The only thing he seems to be missing is enough hands to hold everything. I guess that's why he's balancing baby on his knee.

She doesn't seem to mind.

The Story

Today's post will be rather long. Many people have been asking what it was like to give birth in China. We've retold the story a number of times, and finally decided it might just be easier to post the most important details here.

When Michelle and William discovered they were expecting, they immediately began shopping hospitals. There are a LOT of hospitals in Shanghai and they visited several of them. They finally chose a Chinese hospital on the less expensive end of options, in order to be able to afford a Doula.

A Doula is a birthing coach. She acts as a liaison for a woman during the labor process, working alongside the midwife and husband. Doulas are not midwives, and do not deliver babies. But they know a great deal about the labor process and provide positive encouragement during labor and delivery. Michelle's Doula is Caitlin. She is American but speaks a good deal of Chinese.

Upon arriving at the hospital Saturday the frantic nurse told Michelle to lie on the couch. Then flustered, she asked her to get up again so she could "put a sheet under her ass." I wondered where the nurse learned had English. Michelle tried not to laugh.

It took Michelle only 3 hours to dilate to the "10 finger" stage. It was the final stage that became our biggest challenge, as that lasted 10 hours.

One of the reasons Michelle chose this hospital was that, during the tour, no one specifically said she would only be allowed one person during delivery. She had intentions of having William, Caitlin and me present. But when Michelle moved to a delivery room, a nurse asked us to leave. At first we thought it was just for a moment, but when we realized otherwise, we simply told them we would be staying; it was very important to Michelle and to William. Our stubbornness may have caused a few minutes of panic for the nurses, but they finally stopped arguing with us and gave us greens to wear.

This same nurse told Michelle to push a couple of times. "Taking too long," she said, and told us Michelle had one hour to push the baby out, after which they would intervene.

I should remind you that this is customary in China. Hospitals intervene a great deal of the time. They grow impatient, don't think childbirth is a natural process and just prefer to get the baby out themselves. This is the only way they can charge you more money. If Michelle and William had not been prepared for this, we may have believed one of the many lies told to us over the next few hours. They lied about the baby's health and position, trying to scare us into a decision. They persistently insisted on a C-Section, saying that it was physically impossible for Michelle to deliver naturally. None of it was true. We knew this because the baby's heartbeat was consistent and strong.

We all grew annoyed. William physically pushed at least 3 people during the night (I was very proud of him for that). He finally forced everyone to leave except one midwife (besides us), who had expressed that Michelle was doing just fine. The baby's heart rate was good throughout the entire process and we trusted that one thing to help us in our decision to stay committed to Michelle's desire for a completely natural birth.

Michelle was awesome. She stayed entirely focused and relaxed, once we got rid of the stupid doctors and nurses who kept arguing and pressuring us. Oddly, Michelle doesn't remember much pain at all, though from our perspective things looked different. Michelle being a very vocal person, did "growl like a bear" a few times in order to make her body work harder. She takes after her father on this.

If Caitlin had not been there encouraging us all we may have given in to the pressures of the hospital. It was Caitlin's idea to get Michelle out of bed and try other positions, to encourage stronger, more regular labor. This worked.

First Caitlin suggested we try walking Michelle. She made many trips to the bathroom and on one occasion asked if she could brush her teeth. That was amusing. Then we tried a position on the bed where I sat behind her and helped her in a part sitting, part squatting position. That worked for a while, then we did more walking.

She finally discovered the best position - with the help of the three of us holding her up, she squatted on the floor and delivered Bonita Rose. We are pretty sure the midwife had never delivered a baby upside down before, but she did not complain. William missed seeing the birth because he was behind Michelle holding her up, but Michelle got to see the birth because of her squatting. She is very happy about that.

This photograph was taken 2 minutes after the birth.



Michelle and William both knew they would need to fight for everything they wanted in the birth of their baby. They had done an extensive amount of research and knew ahead of time how the Chinese hospital would behave. They wrote a birth plan and had it added to their file. The attending midwife read the birth plan thoroughly and tried to abide by it. She was the only one from the hospital who continued to be an encouragement. She was also the only one we allowed in the room.

We are very thankful all our prayers were answered.

Michelle and William are pretty sure they don't want to have another baby in a Chinese hospital. I'm right there with them.

I'm working - really

My work schedule while in Shanghai has been interesting. I have attempted to stay on Pacific time. Some nights I've been more tired than others, but the schedule has actually been useful.












Michelle can feed the baby, then bring her to me for burping and coddling, while Michelle catches an hour or two of sleep.













Baby doesn't seem to mind me working, she's been alert and playful. I really have been getting work done - really - it's just been so nice to be able to look up and see her there, or work with her on my stomach. She fits just right for me to reach my computer.














We've also discovered she loves to be touched. If we stroke her cheek, she smiles. I took 187 pictures of her while "working" today. I may have gotten a little carried away. That's what I call a good day's work.

A day out

Today the baby had to go back to the hospital for standard blood tests. The hospital had told us that the PKU test must be done after three days, so we obliged. There had been enough drama anyway and were glad to escape.

It wasn't until today that we realized just how untrained these Chinese nurses are. It took three of them 20 minutes, bending, squeezing and twisting the baby's foot, to get 5 drops of blood from her heel. Michelle was just about ready to give up and go home. William told them they could finish, but they had to stop bending the baby's foot.

Michelle nursed Bonnie Rose to calm her, then she announced the baby wanted Ice cream. Willam knew how to interpret that.
We took a taxi to Xin Tian Di, a hotspot of food and shopping for Expats. It's a little on the upscale side but they have a Haagan-Daz Ice Creamery, where we sat and ate our favorite flavors. A few old Chinese women told Michelle she wasn't supposed to go out (Chinese tradition dictates you must stay home one month after childbirth).

To freak out the staring people, Michelle nursed the baby in public. "Serves them right," she said. "That's what they get for staring."

That's our Michelle.

Speaking of Names

Michelle and I were talking about the baby's name. She's going to have lots of options, Michelle says. Baby has three pretty nice names. Bonita, Rose and Bonnie. You can do a lot with those names, in lots of combinations.

I've always liked having options with my name, being able to switch back and forth between Bonnie and Bonita. I never considered using my middle name, though, as Michelle does.

But the baby's middle name is very special. Michelle has always liked roses, always like rose perfumes and always wanted a child named Rosie. She even had a doll with that name. I had forgotten how this name first became special to Michelle.

When the kids were small, eating at restaurants was a luxury we rarely afforded. So I began a tradition. Every year, on each child's birthday, I would take the birthday child out to eat, alone, at a special restaurant of their choice. For Michelle, it was her 5th birthday and we went to Rosie's in Tahoe City. We went there every year until we moved away from Tahoe City. The year Rosie's burnt down, Michelle cried. It didn't take long to rebuild, so by her next birthday, a new version of Rosie's opened, making her very happy. Michelle's birthday was the only time we ever ate at Rosie's.

The baby's name is Bonita, like mine. That makes me smile. It's a good name, although I've been calling her Bonnie Rose. Michelle likes that, too. She says she might call her that, sometimes. But she's also planning on calling her Rosie. It's a name attached to special, happy memories, and one that makes her smile.

What's in a Name?

Many Chinese people take an English name, as Glen does. When Michelle agreed to have Glen as the godfather, she asked him to make a Chinese name for the baby. It seemed only fitting.

The Chinese language actually has three forms; traditional characters (which are most complex), simplified characters, and Pinyin. This last form, Pinyin, is the phonetic, or Roman version of Chinese, making it easier for people to read and pronounce.

Michelle already had her own Chinese name, Zhang Ming Shu (pronounced jaung ming shoo). Zhang is the family name, equivalent to our surnames. Zhang is a very common Chinese name, which was why Michelle chose it.

One thing about Chinese that many people don't realize; Chinese words convey more of a concept than literal words. Literally Michelle's peronal name, Ming Shu, means bright dawn, but in Chinese, when you combine those the two characters, Ming and Shu it takes on the concept of Hope.

When Glen was making Bonnie Rose's name, he considered William and Michelle's beliefs and values. Knowing what was important to them, and knowing their personalities, he composed the name Zhang Huai En (pronounced jaung hwai? un) - the question mark in the second part means that the tone for this sound rises like a question.

Glen used Michelle's family name Zhang, as expected. He then used a character very special to himself, the first character of his own daughter's name - Huai. The last character, En, is unique only to Bonita Rose. Together, Huai and En convey the concept of Thanksgiving. This is how it is written in both simplified and traditional Chinese.

Just enough...

The past two weeks were so good for me, getting used to China. I got to see all Michelle's favorite shops and food places, I learned a little about the Chinese language and I even learned a few words - just enough to be dangerous.

I can get myself home from anywhere within walking distance, since I am familiar now with the neighborhood. If I do get lost I am pretty confident that I could go up to anyone in the neighborhood looking confused and they would bring me home - I am the only white person with light hair in this part of town.

I can go to the market and buy food - I've done that twice. I know all of four words in Chinese and believe me, I've used them. At the grocery store the lady asked me if I wanted grocery bags (body language is simple to read), I answered no. and thanked her in Chinese.

Today I even stopped at the Boba shop and ordered two Pearl Milk Teas, and when they asked me if I wanted it hot or cold, I answered in Chinese, "Bing de" ( make cold).

The thing I am most proud of is that I can tell the taxi driver how to go to Michelle and William's house. It sounds cool to say, "Nan Dan Dong lu, Xietu Lu, lu co." which is the name of the two streets where Michelle and William live and the intersection where I want to be dropped. When I get there I say, "Jilly haow," which means, "Here good." I am so proud of myself.

I can also say "Yes, yes," in Chinese, which is "Due, due." It's easy to nod and say this phrase when someone offers you something you want.

Other useful phrases are
"nee haow" meaning "hello"
"boo yaow," meaning "Don't want. Very useful in the market place.
"zai zhjian" meaning "Good bye"
"wo yao" meaning "I want"'
"je-ga" meaning "this" If you put these last two together you have a simple sentence.

And my favorite "Bye, Bye" which means just what it says. The Chinese say this to each other, sort of like we use the greeting "Ciao."

I've always been very intimidated to try and speak other languages. But people appreciate it when you make an effort, and I would really like to learn more. The sounds are a lot more fun than I thought they would be. The only trouble is, Chinese is a tonal language, so if you use the wrong tone when you say a syllable, you might accidentally call someone a donkey instead of telling them goodbye.

Bad mistake.

It wouldn't be Shanghai...

In the Chinese language there's a special verb that means "take the sun." It literally means to take something or someone outdoors to become fresh from the sun.

Certain things in Shanghai fascinate me. People have all sorts of electronics and gadgets - even things we can't get in the U.S. Yet when it comes to household items, life is very basic. Ovens are not a commonality, for instance. Appliances like vacuums are a rarity. And when it comes to laundry, there are no dryers.
One of the best things to observe in Chinese everyday life is the laundry. People are accustomed to seeing laundry everyplace. On sunny days, not just laundry goes outdoors. All sorts of things come out of the closet on a sunny day to "take the sun."

Since no one has dryers in Shanghai, every apartment comes with a laundry rack outside the apartment window, no matter how high up you live.





William says that without the laundry outside everyone's window, it wouldn't be Shanghai - this is part of the city's personality.





There is no modesty when it comes to airing out your laundry. You'll often see under garments of all sorts hanging out right on the sidewalk, at eye-level or below. That's mainly because many people live above their shops, and the bringing laundry to the sidewalk is just convenient.






Some people get really creative with how to dry their laundry. I loved this one, how the two apartments strung their line across the two buildings.












The people who own those shops along the road next to Michelle's apartment also live above their shops, like the glass shop, or the screen shop. When they want to air their laundry, they just do it right in front of their place of business.












(to see a larger view of any picture in larger format, click it).

Sunday Child

When I was having my children I loved to quote an old nursery rhyme poem about children who were born on specific days of the week. You might remember it. Michelle did when she started labor. I've always loved that poem, and all of its meaning. Bonita Rose is a Sunday child.

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

On which day of the week were you born? Find out here.

The Big Trip

Going home for the first time is a big event.
You have to get all dressed up.













Mama wraps you in a tight blanket and you get in the taxi.


It's a wild ride through traffic, but you make it.













At last, you arrive. Daddy is so happy to have you home, he finally gets a chance to sit and admire his lovely masterpiece.

Meet the Godfather

Michelle and William have a friend here named Glen. They met him at Open Mic, the literary group William hosts. He is Taiwanese but lives and works here in Shanghai as a musician.

A while ago Glen saw the movie, While You Were Sleeping, and really liked the godfather of the injured man. He had the idea that he wanted to be the baby's Chinese godfather. So Michelle and William have granted him his wish.
Glen is awesome. He stood outside the delivery room door for 8 hours, waiting, listening and worrying through the entire ordeal. He got us food, ice and helped us pack. He also helped in some of the translation issues we had later. We are all really glad he was there.

Meet Glen, godfather to Bonita Rose.

Too much stuff

On the way to the hospital our taxi driver informed us we had too much stuff.

There may have been some truth to that.

We packed a 29" upright suitcase, 7 over-the-shoulder bags and 2 briefcases. Oh, and the cameras. Plus there was our food, we had to bring plenty of things to eat. Who wants to count on hospital food?













Michelle had a hard time deciding which outfit she wanted to bring baby home in, so she packed a few of them. She said, since she didn't know how big baby would be she wanted to have some options.

We also packed bedding. Michelle wanted her own pillows, plus her blanket, a lovely bedspread quilt that is soft and comforting. She needed it to cover up with, knowing there wouldn't be any sheet. Chinese do not sleep between sheets, they think you put sheets on the bed to sleep on top of - crawling between sheets is strange.

As a rule in China you have to provide your own toilet paper, so we packed that. Plenty of it.

Hospitals do not provide towels or washcloths. Michelle and William both planned on showering and dressing a couple of times so we packed towels, changes of clothes and all the showering needs. That took up space.

Our computers were necessities. We had been told there would be Internet, so William and I both came prepared, thinking we'd get a chance to blog after the event. That didn't happen, so all the electronic stuff we brought just took up space. I ended up taking mine home at night, since it was useless at the hospital.
Apparently the Internet was off for the weekend.

Now we are packing everything up to come home. I didn't know we brought a tripod. And who packed Michelle's swim suit? Isn't it funny how, when a trip is over, it seems like you have so much more than you originally packed? How does that happen? The only souvenir we are coming home with is Bonita Rose.

At least on the way home we had Glen, the baby's Taiwanese godfather, to help.

Sleep time

We had all managed to catch a few 2-3 minute naps during the night's labor, which lasted 13 1/2 hours at the hospital. We were all very glad to get time to really sleep.

There was plenty of room for us all to sleep in Michelle's hospital room. I slept in Michelle's bed with her and Bonnie Rose for a while.














William took the couch. It didn't really matter how much room there was though, we were all exhausted. The floor even looked appealing during the previous night.

Health Care

Few people in the west realize that China does not provide health care for their citizens. We assume they do because of their type of government. But it isn't true. Each Chinese citizen pays for their own individual health care. Having a baby in China (especially in Shanghai) can cost a U.S. dollar equivalent of $15,000.
And it's all up front.

Health care was once provided to citizens in China, but almost overnight, during the 1990s, the nation suddenly stopped providing health care for anyone, leaving 900 million people with the responsibility of medical care themselves. Rural doctors were snuffed out, requiring people from the villages who needed care to head to the cities.

Hospitals appear to be government owned which would explain the level of corruption within their walls. They are often located in unique buildings, such as an abandoned hotel or bank (like I'm convinced Michelle's is), or maybe a factory. The level of modern medical education the medical staff has is appalling. Practices are 30 to 40 years out of date. It's a wonder there are so many people still alive.

Everything is a major ordeal. Such as having a baby. Although pregnancy is not negative a medical condition, but doctors try to make it so. If you have a prenatal checkup you are likely to be required to take blood tests five or six different times - the same blood tests. And somehow, in all that, they neglect to record your blood type, then will later, during labor, insist on taking yet another blood test, plus they can't tell you exactly what the tests are for.

Doctors do not typically attend births in China, unless there is a problem. Midwives deliver babies, but during your prenatal visits you are only allowed to see a doctor. The doctor is the one who will try and scare you into spending more money on tests you do not really need because of some imaginary problem. And if you don't listen they yell and say you are a bad patient and endangering your baby.

The scare tactics are typical. Doctors try to make patients believe they are dying, or their baby is in danger, or that somehow things are not going to go well, or they cannot deliver normally. They insist on a course of treatment that is not at all what you wanted, then IF you agree to consider one of those suggestions, they will suddenly tell you that, NO you can't do that after all, a more serious operation is necessary.
C-Section births are extremely high -because the patient pays twice as much. And did I mention that it's all up front?

Every test you take costs extra. If you listen to the baby's heart, you pay extra. If you get a sonogram, you pay extra. If your doctor insists you need an EKG, you pay extra (granted, it only costs $3 and probably worthless, but still).

So what's the lesson here? Do your homework. Know your options. Stand your ground. Remind doctors and hospitals that you are the paying customer so you will do whatever the heck YOU want. It's not easy, not for anyone, citizen or foreigner but it seems a foreigner is more likely to get away with such behavior.

We did. Barely.

The saddest part of all is that a typical Chinese person will not question what a doctor says. They have been conditioned to do as they are told. They rarely know their options and are seldom told the truth.

It's a good thing Coleman's are difficult to condition. I'm counting William as part of the clan because he married one - as did I - some of those Coleman traits just get absorbed. William was awesome, standing up to those doctors the way he did, even throwing one out. There's only one thing William is lacking; Coleman diplomacy.

That might not be such a bad thing.

If you want to know more about health care in China this article is very good.

The final stretch

Runners have some of the best endurance of any athlete. They are amazing during a marathon, running miles and miles for the sheer satisfaction of completing the course. It's a personal goal and one that offers its own type of reward, to those who take part in such an event.

Having a baby can be compared closely to running. Michelle and I were discussing how, for us, the feeling with contractions isn't really pain. It's more like the feeling you get when you run.

When you run, that last stretch is the most grueling. You feel as if you can't breathe, and you may even slow down. You might vomit or grow dizzy. You can easily get dehydrated and overheated. But if you are a real runner you don't quit, because you know deep down, how satisfied you will feel when you've crossed the finish line. That finish is your personal reward, and when you walk away you can say to yourself that you did it, and smile.

A baby is its own reward. It's what makes the labor process bearable. Unlike your monthly cycle, which is painful and unrewarding, childbirth labor has an end result that is positive and desirable - holding that little bundle in your arms. It makes the whole process entirely worthwhile.

Not everyone is a runner, and that's OK. Some people have to quit before they reach the finish line. But for those who are runners and can complete the course, they should be praised, because their labors are not in vain, and their rewards far outweigh any discomfort the process brings. Michelle was such a runner today.

She not only completed the course, she did it in just the manner she hoped and this is her beautiful reward; Bonita Rose Minnis. Born at about 7:30 am October 18, 2009, weighing in at 6.7 lbs. Oh, and she has dark red hair, and she's a Sunday child.

No more walks

Michelle is past the point of wanting to take walks. It looks like we are graduating to the Taxi and suitcase mode. In a couple of hours we'll probably go to the hospital. it is 2:40 pm October 16. William in gathering all the necessary items for the next couple of days. I am doing my part, keeping everyone informed.

You may have noticed though, I'm not so good about Facebook. That is Michelle and William's job.

Right now we are watching Star Trek, the newest movie. I'm glad I've not yet seen it, although Michelle and William have. It is the best one so far. Michelle is beyond enjoying it, though, she says she's listening from the other room. At least we've got our priorities right; Star Trek education is essential, especially in this family.


..... UPDATE: On the way to the hospital now. 4:45 PM China time. Saturday, October 17

The Strangest Things

You see the strangest things when you take neighborhood walks in Shanghai.
Notice anything unusual? We were wondering who could really use this? Oh right, they're good for walking the dog. These are all over Shanghai.
















Speaking of dogs, do you need to take your dog to the vet? This looks like a good way to transport him. William says if the dogs are bigger they sit on the back.
















And who needs a cat when you've got a dog like this?