A Scots Happy New Year gift of Nostalgia

I've always loved the nostalgic tune people sing at New Year - “Auld Lang Syne.”   The tune itself is catchy, but before this little song was put to music, it was a poem, written in 1788 by Robert Burns, originally in the Scots language - a dialect found in Lowland Scotland and Ulster, Ireland.

The phrase Auld Lang Syne means Old Long Since, or more precisely translated in English as a phrase that means "for the sake of old times," which is why we sing this tune at each New Year.

The tradition of singing Auld Lang Syne on New Year’s Eve was started by the Scots and became tradition elsewhere in the British Isles before spreading around the world.

Happy New Year - this eve.

 

Quads

Leia had her babies today. Three girls and a boy all doing well. The boy is about 7.5 lbs. she barely looked like she'd have twins. What a shocker!

Creepy child

Rosie loves pirate skeletons

Water boy

When there is a fountain around Obi will find it.

Even big boys love to swing

Don't blame those pesky mosquitoes

I like bugs. I know it's insane, but they're so fascinating. Yet, I'm really not a fan of biting blood-sucking bugs like mosquitoes - never have been - growing up in Michigan is part of my aversion to those annoying, high-pitched flying things that bite. And when a mosquito bites me, it generally does not start itching for a day or two, then it swells up to the size of a quarter, and that's when I know I've been visited by a mosquito, or two.

But - even with all their annoying habits of biting me, mosquitoes are not as bothersome as the minuscule midge.  These little critter bites sting and itch instantly - and for people like me who are allergic to almost every insect venom there is - these little bites itch for days, even longer sometimes than a week.

As a kid, I remember always getting bitten outdoors, but never actually seeing the critter that bit me. I started to watch and see what it was. I still do this, watching with interest the little "dot" that pokes a hole in my skin.

So what's a midge?  Well, it depends on where you live really, as to what you might call them. For instance, in the northeast, they often go by the name "punkies" while in the lower midwest and southern states, they're widely known as "no-see-ums" due to their tiny size. In Florida they go by the name "five-0's" because they start really biting around 5 PM. Folks in Alabama call them "pinyon gnats." In some parts of the world they're called "sand flies." Canada has an interesting name - "moose flies" and in California I have a distinct recollection of people calling them "pecker flies." Please don't ask me to explain that one.

Bottom line is, these tiny biting gnats are the most irritating of all biting insects next to ticks. My arms are covered with welts from just sitting outsides last night - and nothing really deters them. They aren't bothered by insect repellent, DEET does not even affect them (not that I would use that on my skin!) and citronella doesn't interfere with their determination, once they've been attracted by a sweet tasting host.

What's most annoying is that some people seem immune to them. William, for instance, says he's never been bitten by one at all.  That really irks me.

It almost seem like they're more attracted to girls, as I watch two naked children outdoors, one swatting her legs while playing, the other having no bugs around him at all.

When I say they're tiny, I mean it. Smaller than your tiniest freckle, if you're not watching for them, you likely won't even notice they've landed. They can fit through the mesh in screened windows, which is why, in many places, people close their windows around 4:30 in the afternoon.

There are actually quite a few species of these buggers, the ones I see are tiny, green ones, but the ones in California I remember were more black.

They love exposed skin but have never bitten me on the face that I recall - it's almost always my arms that get attacked. If I wear long sleeves it does seem to reduce the biting but not completely, as the midge is so tiny it can go right through the fibers if it's determined to such my blood.

At least, for a mosquito, you can use insect repellent or bath oil and they leave you alone. But midges are a different story.  I may have to learn to live with them, but I'm never going to enjoy them.

Papa's tired pup

A long weekend with Papa ended in exhausted (and a little grumpy) kiddos who sure had a great time with Papa. Obi barely made it through his "Pizzi" before collapsing for the last time tonight. He's not going to be happy when he wakes up to find Papa gone. But he's oblivious now.

Hiking in Forest Falls

I wish I had known about this place years ago. You can't see it in these pictures but there are several waterfalls here, each a little higher up, the last one is like a bridal veil falls, tall and spectacular. Each one creates a pool, full of icy cold water. The kids had a great time stumbling around the rocks with Nana and climbing with Papa, then getting their feet wet crossing the streams.

What a fun, FUN day.

What is it about a boy and rocks, especially when there's water around?

Andrew has a surprising throw - and great aim, too!

Alora doesn't NEED help, but Daddy & Papa give a little anyway.

A gorgeous day to hike after sticking your feet in icy cold water.

Signs of summer

A couple of weeks ago I walked into the back kitchen and flipped on the light switch.

Nothing happened.

I flipped it a couple more times. Nada.

"Must be summer," I said to myself, grabbing a coffee mug from the cupboard. No biggie, worse things have happened.

Michelle came out a few minutes later and flipped the light switch in the kitchen. Again, nothing happened. "Hmm. Must be summer," she mumbled, and stumbled around in the dark looking for a cup.

Every year, only in summer, the light in the spare kitchen stops working. No idea how it knows, or why it happens, but it happens every single year, for at least three or four years. As soon as temps outside gets hot, the ceiling light starts getting temperamental. It turns on in the evening, and often very early in the morning. If we can manage to get it to turn on in the morning, we often just leave it on all day. I know.... shame on us. But the alternative is a not-so-bright bedroom floor lamp that stands in the middle of the room, which makes doing dishes in that room a bugger.

When things like this happen it makes me smile, and remember a scene from "It's a Wonderful Life" - George Bailey is always complaining about his rickety old house, but when it comes down to the end, he realizes how much he loves and appreciates that place. That's how I feel. I love a house with personality, even if that means a light that doesn't work some of the time.

At least it works in winter. That's something.

Mmmmm...

Outside fun

the Chart

This brought back memories on Saturday when visiting Amanda. The kids have these little charts for everything they are supposed to do each day. Of course, some days things don't always get done, but when they do, the kids get to mark an X on their chart.

We used to have these. We would make a new chart each week, listing each of their chores and things they needed to remember. If the kids filled up their chart in every box for an entire week, they got a special treat - like going to Dairy Queen, getting a hot chocolate at McDonald's (we usually walked up there on Fridays) or something else fun I might think up. It was great motivation. The hardest part was getting all the kids to get their charts completed. If one was falling behind and didn't have a box done, none of us would get to go. That, too, motivated them to help each other complete their tasks.

We used to have charts for everything. There was a chart in the bathroom for who cleaned what on which day. We took turns on that chore.

Charts are fun.  I'm glad to see Amanda's kids are doing them, too.

Dinner - pretty intense

Alora noticed that Andrew was running out of baby food. While Mommy was getting her dinner, Alora filled up Andrew's bowl. He was very happy.  I love how he feeds himself, then wipes his hands on his bare chest.

Want some, Nana?

Papa's in town

Papa gives rides on his motorcycle. There were some pretty thrilled kids here on Saturday.

Alora goes first.

"Yissa" waits not-so-patiently for her turn

Alyssa finally gets on, so excited

Ethan is so big now, he gets to ride on the back

Boys and tutus

Obi is suddenly motivated to walk everyplace on his own because of Rosie's new tutu. Up till today he would only take two or three steps then sit down. He got mad when we tried to take off the tutu.

Good thing Rosie's asleep.

Tea party fun

Remote gate opener

We have this goat, Basil, who weighs probably 250 pounds. He's very sweet but he does not know his own strength.  He when I go in to that pen with him, sometimes he runs at me and knocks me over. or just pushes me up against the fence and rubs his stinky head on me. YUK! that thing is covered with pee and I don't want to smell like that.

So, I don't go in that pen. Therefore, Basil has not been going out to the field to eat. I felt bad for him and talked to William. When William is home he lets Basil out, which makes everyone happy.

Pull the PVC to release the gate latch.

Before William left this past weekend, he rigged up a nice remote opener for us. It does not require that I go in to the boy's goat pen to open the gate to let the goats out.

Here's how it works; on the girl's side of the pen William put together a pulley system. String, PVC, and a nail, I pull the PVC which is attached to a string that opens the gate latch in the boy's pen. Then I pull the string labeled #2 to swing open the gate, then the boys go out. The first time they looked over at us wondering what was happening, but it didn't take them long to figure that out.

You can't see it in the second picture very well, but there's a thin string attached to the latch, so when I pull the string, that big latch releases allowing me to open the gate.

See the string? the string releases the latch.

The string goes a long way over 2 pens.

To close the gate, I have to release the string. First I have to feed the goats so they go far away from the gate. Then I release the string and hop the fence to close the gate. That's the only time I have to go in.

I love having someone creative around - creative but simple, nothing elaborate, we didn't spend a thing on this (except William's time), and if it breaks there's no real loss.

Thanks William!!

The gate swings open, then I wrap the string around the nail to keep it that way.

Obi likes birds

Obi has never been to the zoo so today we took him and Rosie. He saw real monkeys and giraffes for the first time, but his favorite animals were the birds (lorakeets) and meerkats. He liked the bird that landed on mommy, the one that ended up on his own head. Then he kept meowing at the meerkats. So adorable.

Brunch at our favorite spot

Seated right on the window ledge we were able to watch swimmers, dolphins, kayakers, and even a few good sized shark. Birds diving into the ocean from high in the sky, gulls, pelicans, jays. A lovely, refreshing way to spend a Sunday. The meal was more than fabulous - I love this Sunday Champaign brunch in Laguna.

Ah...so

Yesterday we went to a Japanese Steak & Sushi bar. I've never been to one of these, where the grill is in the middle of your table and the chef comes and lights a fire and cooks the food right there. It's quite entertaining, they love showing off their skills and the food is spectacular - especially the grilled muscles and filet  :-)

Our chef was great, all decked out in his little white kimono garb, red apron, and hat, with his fire stick and other fancy tools.  He brought his  tray with all the oils, sauces, and cuts of meats we had ordered. It was dark - they actually turned down the lights so the fire was that much more spectacular.

He heated the stainless steel grill super hot. First our chef sliced an onion, rather thickly into nice circles. Then he poured oil and something else inside and lit it on fire. It exploded into a huge flame, followed by a bubbling volcano that he produced by pouring some liquid inside the onion. Super cool.

Then he brought out the vegetables and meat and started grilling. He had the sharpest knife I've ever seen, and proceeded to slice and dice and grill, then flopped things on our plates to taste.

We oohed and ahhhed and praised his talent. He smiled happily and said, "SO much better than Mexican."

That's when I took a good look at him. He was definitely NOT Japanese.

Not that it matters.... but how could I have missed that?

H is for Hard

Do you know how hard it is to come up with 10 names beginning with the letter H?  Even with a baby-name dictionary we've had an H of a time.

Our last and 10th baby of the spring season was born on Friday afternoon. - he's huge for having such a small momma - too tall to stand under her and nurse. Even on his knees his head is still too high.  I think I'll call him Hank, he's really very striking, with 3 colors or brown in his head.

So far, here's where we are on the names of all the babies this season:

Tahoe's baby is Hamlet. Who had a rough start but now weighs about 25 pounds or more.

Still needs a name!

Fiona had Hattie and Harvey. Hattie's petite and spunky. Harvey reminds me of Harvey the White Rabbit, all white with bullseyes around each eye - and he's a screamer.

Daisy's baby is Honey. Pale white with perfectly folded ears.

Clover's big baby boys are Harris and Harold after two of my uncles. Both are tall and a little wiry, Harris has long speckled ears.

Cordelia's baby is Hugo because he was so huge (he looks exactly like Harold only bigger)

Charlotte's gorgeous babies are Hilly and her un-named brother - either Hans or Hilton, or Hamilton or Harrison or Henri or Hardy or Harper, or even maybe Hansel. Michelle suggested Harry, but he doesn't really look like a Harry..... there are so many more not-go-great H names, and a few more good ones. This is the only baby whose name I can't really decide on. He's completely red - and If I keep him I want a name we really like.   SO help!

I know the names really don't matter since most of them will be sold anyway, but it helps when we have to talk about them. Also for some reason people seem to like buying little goats who are named. All goat babies probably look the same to most of you, but I know them each by name (when they have names).

Giving them names helps too, when I go out and talk to them, they like the sound of my voice, no one wants to be called just "old goat" - not even little billy goats.  Meh!

the Manicure

Basil is our main buck. He's just turning three years old and completely full of himself. He's sweet, eats out of my hand, and loves to be petted.... that is, until he gets in the pen with anyone.

Basil is all about male dominance. He especially likes William and wants to "play" but his method of playing gets a bit out of hand, especially with those pointy horns. During spring and fall Basil also likes to make sure we know that those girls over there belong to him. Sometimes he gets rough. He recently pinned me against the fence when I was trying to let him out to graze.

We've been doing hoof trimming and William mention he needed to trim Basil's hooves as well. But how to do it safely was our biggest problem. It's a good thing William knows how to invent things out of inexpensive items around the farm.

He took two pieces of goat panel and made a make-shift shute. I lured Basil in with food while William "locked" the back in place. It was sufficient. Basil was no longer able to buck - which he does quite well under normal circumstances. And at 250 lbs, you don't really want to be in the way when he's doing it.

Basil got his manicure and neither William or me came out with very many bruises. 

Useful things

Do you ever find it hard to throw away useful little things? Things that some people might see as trash?   I do.

I don't like to be a pack-rat, but there are times I just can't bear to discard something I could use again. Things like Amazon boxes, shopping bags (brown paper or handle ones), condiment jars - or worse - condiment packets like mustard and ketchup. Take-out chop sticks, empty water bottles, or pie tins.

Lots of things these days come packaged in - or with - something that could be used again to solve one problem or another.

Like bread ties. You know those twisty-ties that seal the bread bags, usually made of plastic-wrapped wire? I could never bring myself to throw those away.

Another thing I hate to toss are the Chinese food carry-out containers. Occasionally we get this magnificent Egg Drop soup from an Asian style restaurant in Dickson, and the containers are nice sized, round, and totally resealable, plus a perfect size for a bit of leftovers. The best part about them is, they're clear so you can see what you're saving. I like those almost as much as Glad containers. The only time I don't mind throwing these little treasures away is when the food I've saved has been forgotten and grown moldy. That way I don't feel bad about not cleaning it.

When I asked Michelle and William today about some of the things we like to save and reuse, William immediately said, "Oh, that reminds me, can you save that big plastic laundry soap jug? I need a new feed scoop and it's the perfect size."

See what I mean?

Another great thing to keep around is bailing twine. We buy a lot of hay bales, and they are all wrapped with this orange bailing twine, making the bales easyier to carry. It's also a useful item to have in your tool shed. We have dozens of them draped over two nails.

A couple of weeks ago we needed a cage in the goat pen. First we needed it for the injured dog, then I needed it for goats who were kidding. We have all this bailing twine hanging around, and we have these flat wire panels. Together they made a very nice cage. William tied up all the edges making it very strong, even stands up to the goat. William's pretty handy with this twine, and uses it on all sorts of things around the place. It's sturdy when you tie it right, it's plentiful (since we never throw it away), and it's free.

I don't mind reusing. Especially when it saves a trip to the hardware store, which, in our town closes at noon on Saturday. So having twine (and other things) around is handy, since the hardware store is never open when we need it.

On the eights

 What a week! last Sunday I spent saving the life of one little kid - and between then and now we've had 7 more born! Eight little babies running around.

Still needs a good name. Not a speck of white on him.

We got some VERY pretty kids this year, and all of them have birth dates that make them eligible for 4H and FFA. That was my goal. We have a good batch this time, last year we only had 3 that fell into that age range but we had a lot of calls about them. I wanted to be prepared this year.

Now I'm maybe a little too prepared - nothing like having too many goats....

Still, the babies are cute. It's just a lot harder to have big batches of birthing (and keeping them warm) when outside temperatures are low. But now my babies are healthy so that's all that matters I guess. That, and how much heat lamps will affect the electric bill. It's all a learning process.
And, it's worth it.

These three are inseparable. The one on top of the red one we named Hillie.

As of today we have 9 total babies. These are not all of them.

OH, I did get the Christmas tree down on Sunday, that's an accomplishment, too! 




(p.s.) since writing this post we've had another, so now we have 9!

Augie is checking out all the new babies while the Mamas are away.

Things happen

I had planned to use my Sunday to put away Christmas. Yes...the tree is still up. Things happen; we got the flu (twice), two of us had to travel, then there's the overtime. There just hasn't been a minute - or energy - to spare. We haven't even had a chance to get a candle put away.

Saturday I spent cleaning the floors, since Obi eats anything bigger than a wad of dust (including a wad of dust!) so that was top priority. And Christmas 2012 was due to retire on Sunday.

Then more stuff happened. First we got skunked last night, that took a while to recover from. Rosie got sick in the morning, that's always an ordeal. Finally when I went out to feed the goats, I realized one of my nanny goats was in labor.

Normally kid delivery goes smoothly. But when it doesn't - it REALLY doesn't. Today's nanny goat drama was brought to us by Tahoe, one of my hardiest goats. She's always had large babies - and last time three of them at once! This was just a single but it was so large, she just couldn't get it out alone. It took her, and two humans - both William and myself - to get that baby on the ground.

Baby boy goats don't deal well with trauma. This little goat was no exception. First, he couldn't breathe. Did you know mouth-to-mouth resuscitation works just as well on goats as it does people?

After he started breathing he still couldn't stand - or hardly lift his head. His Mama tried desperately to clean him off and get him up, but it was cold, he just couldn't get dry. And since he couldn't stand he also could not eat.

After a very long while I decided to bring him inside. I hate doing that for fear the mother might reject him but there wasn't much choice. Temperatures were dropping and he was still wet. Tahoe hollered and bawled for an hour or more - while inside the laundry room, little Hamlet was laid out on a heating pad to dry, wrapped in blankets.

I did all sorts of things to stimulate that baby. "If you live," I told him, "I'm naming you Hamlet for all the drama you brought us today."

He needed to eat. I had milked out some colostrum before bringing him in the house. Tahoe seemed glad to give it. The milk was still warm, so I took a long tube (made for this sort of thing) and sunk it carefully down his throat and into his stomach. He swallowed about 4 ounces of his Mama's milk in that first feeding - like it or not. I was going to do everything I could to save him.

I gave him multiple shots, fed him oral nutrients, rubbed him to stimulate him, washed off his goo. His temperature was still far too cold, so I turned up the heating pad and wrapped him in more blankets.

I tube fed him three more times, getting a total of about 9 ounces of milk in his tummy. After what seemed hours - and him taking a little nap, Hamlet was stronger. He finally sat up, then attempted to stand. He wobbled a bit, fell over, and then stood again.

Still not entirely dry, I got a warm rag and wiped off more goo. It was time to get him back to his mother.  I went outside and rigged up a warm place for the two of them to sleep under heat lamps.Now it's up to Tahoe, I did my job today.

I do not want another bottle-fed baby. They're cute and all, but they just don't have the best health. Nursing animals thrive far better, plus it's a lot easier on us humans, too.

He's back outside now, with his mother. He managed to nurse successfully after a long time of trying to figure that out (boys always take longer). And I finally got a shower.

The Christmas tree greeted me as I passed through the living room. Ah well, things could be worse.

Hopefully Hamlet is out of the woods now. As for the tree - there's always next Sunday.

The smelly saga

For months now we've battled a repeated serenade from our resident skunk. When Pepe-Le-Pew  decides to spray the dog it's always so close to the house (or under it) that the smell seeps into the cracks of the walls and floors making that part of the house uninhabitable.

Finally William set a trap. Bound and determined to rid ourselves of that pesky rodent, William tempted it with peanut butter, hoping to stop the smelly solicitations once and for all.

Setting traps for skunks is easy. Catching them isn't all that difficult either. But we learned (recently) that, if you decide to set a trap, it might be a good idea to have a plan for what to do after a rodent is caught.

There he sat, in the little raccoon cage. The day we discovered him was the day William was leaving to go out of town for work. Not wanting William to get sprayed just before he had to leave, I convinced him to leave the skunk and I would deal with it.

My way of "dealing with it" meant leaving it in the cage unattended.  I did go out and peak at him a couple of times. Then it rained and the temperatures dropped to 20 degrees. The next day I went out to check him, and even threw rocks at the cage, to see if it moved.  It didn't.

Oh, good, it's dead, I thought. And I told William as much when he got home.

Someone should have told William never to trust a mother-in-law...

"Why do I smell skunk," Michelle asked, waking from her Saturday afternoon nap.

Horrified, I ran outside to check on William.

There he stood in his coveralls and hat, scowling at me. "The skunk is not dead," he announced, as if I couldn't tell from the pungent odor surrounding the house, and standing before me.

Oops.

A visit to the store brought us 11 boxes of baking soda, some of which were used to bathe in, others used to wash clothes, clean boots, and sprinkle on the ground. We did leave one box on the store shelf for some poor soul who might have a similar need late in the night.

That part of the house was off limits the rest of the night. With the windows open and fans on,  everyone slept in my bed, far away from the unbearable burning smell.

Tomorrow William leaves town again to teach in Indiana. Michelle told him he should stop at Walgreens and get a few nose plugs for people sitting in the first row, closest to him.
I don't think he appreciated that advice much.

The skunk? Well, let's just say, that skunk has achieved his last serenade.

More on skunk removal visit the Wildlife Removal page (We should have read this first).

Guardians

You might remember we lost our precious guardian dog, Yogi, over Christmas. In the same incident, Molly was also injured, having to visit the vet and have her foot stitched. William caged her to keep her quiet, but she was very sad and lonely.

We knew we needed another guardian. It really takes two good guardians to keep a herd at bay - and safe from predators. Yogi had done such a good job, we have never had fox or coyote issues.
Skunks once in a while, but Molly takes care of those. Yogi trained her well.


Now Molly has a new companion. His name is Augie.

We debated about his name, and even though it's close to Molly's old friend, that really isn't why we chose it. It has to do with old attachments....on my part.

As a child I had a soft brown stuffed doggie that I affectionately called Augie Doggie. That's where this pup's name came from. I still have that little stuffed puppy, and now I have a real live one with the same name.

Molly has stopped mourning over Yogi. Before Augie came, she would get out of the fence and roam the neighborhood looking for him. She hasn't done that the past few days - mainly because she's been busy bossing Augie around, but that's just fine with me. If it helps her move on, then bringing Augie to live with us was well worth it.

Augie looks like a little double-take of Molly. He's sweet and right now very submissive to her. That won't last long, so she'd better enjoy it. That male dominance thing is going to kick in eventually. 

Pits do not protect

When I was growing up in Michigan I never heard of an avocado. My parents were from the old south, they ate (and cooked) things like fried chicken, white beans with fried corn cakes, and pork chops. We didn't eat too many snacks - and never had chips and dip, except the old standby, potato chips, of course.

The first time I tasted avocado was the year I visited California with my soon-to-be hubby. Every time we went to an event, people made avocado dip - or what we know as Guacamole. I immediately fell in love.

But one thing always puzzled me; why did people leave the blasted pit in the otherwise beautiful green and red colored dip? That ugly brown bulb was not inviting. People said it would help the dip from turning brown, but I never noticed that it helped. It seemed like a very silly, old-wives tale - and it truly does not make any sense.

First of all, avocado turns brown because of air exposure. This is called oxidation. When you remove the flesh from its protective home inside the peel, putting the pit back into it does not prevent oxidization. 

Inside the fruit, while growing, the pit prevents the air from getting into the middle of the avocado fruit - while it's still in one piece. But did you ever cut into an over-ripe avocado only to find it slightly shriveled and - surprise! - browned? That's because as it starts to dry up and shrink, air makes its way inside. 

Air + avocado flesh = brown.

One thing that works to slow the oxidization process is lemon or lime juice, or even cider vinegar. It's the acid content that slows oxidation. You don't need much. In fact, just a tiny splash works wonders. Too much juice will ruin the wonderful flavor of a good avocado, permanently.

So, to save your avocado for later, two things work: 

1. Slice or mash it and add a tiny bit of lemon or lime, then freeze it. ....OR..... slice it in quarters and dip the slices in lemon or lime and freeze the slices. Either way, you'll have that tasty green flesh for later, without losing any of the texture so important to many of us.
2. Cut or mash as desired and cover the mixture with a layer cellophane wrap - smoothing it down over the stuff and touching it, creating no air pockets. Refrigerate and/or freeze for later use. 

Combining both these techniques helps doubly. A few drops of lemon or lime juice, then cover with a layer of plastic wrap, and your avocado stuff will last a couple of days - that is - IF you don't gobble it up first. At our house, not much avocado is leftover for another day, we like to consume all we have of it when we get it.

Moral of the story?  Saving tasty things for later isn't always the best choice, but sometimes you do have to do it. So find what really works best and enjoy!

Little man working

Sometimes Obi visits while I work. My clients seem to enjoy the sounds of babies and toddlers in the background. Also the barking dog.

How to avoid getting the flu

With all the publicity about the flu recently, I thought I'd give a quick tutorial on how not to get the flu - especially for people who don't get the flu shot.

1. Stay in your house and do not welcome guests.
2. If you must welcome guests, ask if they've been to any public place in the past 48 hours.
3. If your guests have been to a public place, hand them a surgical mask and Purell upon arrival. Then welcome them - without touching.
4. If you must go out of your house do not go inside any public building.
5. If you must go inside a public building do not touch any doors, door knobs, handles, elevator buttons, pens or sign-in tablets, or light switches.
6. Do not use public toilets.
7. If you must touch any of the above listed things, be sure you are wearing sterile gloves. Discard the gloves after each point of contact. NOTE: You may need to carry several pair.
8. Keep your distance from people - do not get closer than 12 feet.
9. If you must get closer than 12 feet, cover your nose and mouth. Or don't breathe.
10. If you have to breathe, or can't cover your nose and mouth, excuse yourself.
11. If you can't excuse yourself, don't go there in the first place.
12. Don't go to work. 
13. If you must go to work be sure no one has touched your desk.
14. If you want to be sure no one touches your desk, install a security camera you can monitor from home.
15. If you can't install a security camera, keep disinfectant wipes in large quantities on your desk - and USE THEM every time you walk away for a minute.
16. Don't shake hands. THIS IS ESSENTIAL!! Friendliness does not require touching.
17. Don't eat out. 
18. If you must eat out, choose severely overcooked food. Deep fried is ideal.
19. If you can't eat deep fried food, carry food you can eat. People will understand.
20. Take vitamins. Lots and lots of vitamins. And herbs. Especially garlic - that will keep away germs as well as people.
21. Don't fly.
22. If you do need to fly, make sure you use disinfectant wipes on your seating area before touching it yourself.  
23. If flying, do not touch the magazine pocket - that's the most contaminated spot on the plane. People stuff their used tissue in there.... yuk!!
24. If you are seated next to a sneezing, coughing person, surgical masks are nice things to share. Use one yourself, too. Better yet, ask to be reseated.
25. If you are able to avoid the flu without a flu shot, be sure to note here which thing worked the best for you. And share it with others.

My solution? Stay home. Eat leftovers. Don't answer the door. At least until April or May.

Errors

It's a good thing technology doesn't always work. I might not have a job.

Plus, people might not think I am smart. Fixing technology really isn't all that tricky, it just takes a lot of patience - trying the same blessed thing over and over again, twenty or more times. Sooner or later, it's going to get fixed, if only from being tuckered out with me trying.

Dang, I gave out my secret. Now what am I going to do to impress people?

I know. I'll dissect something, that always works.